Elation at Finishing English

Yesterday, I began the dreary trudge to the bus-stop from school, but nothing could really dampen my spirits, not even the facts that I was sweltering hot and that I still have a large amount of revision to do before all my exams are over.

The reason for my elation?? I had just sat a two hour English Language exam, writing four mini-essays, a letter and a newsletter article about things that I don't really care about. Why English examiners have to pick the most uninspiring topics to write about, I don't know. Who really cares about whether or not I want a motorbike race to take place in my local area, or what my school could do to save energy? You may now be wondering how this made me happy. The answer to that is simple; that exam was the last I will ever sit for English in any way, shape or form.

I have to give one positive thing about the examining board for that last exam, though. The extract that we had to read was about the TT races on the Isle of Man, which presented at least a little interest in the subject. In the mock exam, we had to analyse an article about someone whining about teenagers. I fail to comprehend the assumption that examining boards make that teenagers are even remotely interested in articles about teenagers, smoking and the like. Believe me, we're not. Another thing I have against the exam board is that they are ridiculous. They are the WJEC, the Welsh Joint Education Committee, for a start, and my school is just outside of South-West London, for goodness sake! The instructions on the front of the paper were given in both English and Welsh. This was an English paper, remember? Anyone who is not able to understand the instructions in English for an exam should not be doing hours of exams in English.

In total I had six and a half hours of English exams, this time round. That strikes me as quite a long time to waste writing your hand off. There was a two and a half hour English Literature paper, and two two hour Language papers. That I wasn't looking forward to them is an understatement. But now I'm done with English forever, and it's something I have been waiting for for a long time now. That is, of course, unless I get an awful grade for English Language, and have to retake. But let's not dwell on that. I wouldn't retake English Literature even if I got a U, because noone anywhere asks for English Literature GCSE to do anything that I plan to do in the future.

The many hours that I have spent enduring false analysis and post modernism in English lessons are over. I hope. Writing essays by taking a quote, making up what it shows and twisting a whole book to invent a theme around it is finished. And I'm more than relieved, I'm ecstatic. Hmm, I used the word ecstatic a lot in my English exam yesterday, to show that one writer disagreed with another that the motorbike riders were insane, because she had understood the joy of acheivement amidst great danger. Or something like that. . .